Easter and Far Easter...

Hello all.

As I post this, I'm back in Manila having been home for Easter for way too short a time....speaking of short...

Anyone who's seen the T.V. show Three Sheets will probably recognize this guy from the Philippines episode. There's a bar here called the Hobbit House where the wait staff are all little people...(this guy isn't one of them or anything...I'm just a massive human being) The irony is of course that almost all bars here are staffed by little people...they call them Filipinas.

Here are some of those...

FLASHBACK:

Over Easter, I came back to the US of A and Lisa and I Promptly went to visit Kate, Ronan, Mom and Dad in Virgina....we had a great time, did some hiking in the mountains, took a trip in to D.C. and ate a great dinner in China town...Here is some proof...

This might be the best toy ever invented...it's equal parts fun and disturbing...

This was just the start...after much tinkering I ended up getting 7 eggs to come out at a time...I believe PETA has lodged a formal complaint against me but Tyson Farms has offered to cover my legal bills.

BACK IN THE MANILAPPINES...

I think I mentioned previously that there are lots and lots of people here...and one thing about people is they tend to go from place to place on roads. This results in traffic that is, in the parlance of our times, a pain in the balls.

There are virtually no rules of the road (save survival of the fittest) and vehicles crammed with occupants, hurl toward one another with very little consideration given to the potential consequences. To put this in American terms...picture 12 million Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans on the LA Freeway after dime-a-shot night at Sky Bar..add underwear..subtract paparazzi...and you have Manila traffic.

One of the more popular ways that people travel here is in the Jeepney.

These are pimped out WWII (that stands for W.W 2) US Army Jeeps...that you can cram into and pay the equivalent of a few pennies to ride across town.

Apparently packing one's self Amistad-style into a metal box in 90 degree heat with an equal helping of humidity is not dangerous enough for some...You often see people hanging off the backs and sides of these as they fly down the highway...

I haven't seen anyone fall off yet, but that's only because it's kind of hard to see things with your hands over your eyes while curled up in terror in the foot well of your car.

If you are lucky enough to survive your ride...you can stop right there on the street and have a soft drink or a beer sold to you by (for reasons not clear to me) a uniformed security guard.

So here's a strange story which you can believe or not...I don't care since I'm far away and have already finished typing this.

Recently, a couple of us took a day to see something of the city aside from work, bars, malls and traffic related fatalities.. On this day we toured the American World War II cemetery...which was very moving, beautiful and impressive...

...As well as Intramuros...the section of the city that was originally contained within a giant Spanish Fort. Buildings and churches there date back to the 1500's.

It's also the site where Jose Rizal was executed in 1896 for standing up to Centuries of Spanish rule...His death sparked the Philippine revolution...it's why they call him the father of the Philippine revolution..well not to his face...because he's dead.

...also none of this matters to the story I was telling.

But this does...While touring the church of St. Augustine (Manila's oldest church)...

I noticed there were lots of signs telling you not to take pictures except in designated areas...(This is because god hates pictures...he thinks he looks fat in them). I don't mind the prospect of eternal damnation all that much so I sneaked into this courtyard to take a picture of a cool bell tower I saw.

...as I snapped this picture, my camera battery went dead so I couldn't tell if I got the picture or not.

As I was looking through my bag for a new pack of batteries, one of the people I was with (we'll call him "Rick" because that's his name), had come out into the courtyard as well (he's scared of hell, but is apparently not that strong a reader). Rick pointed his camera at the same bell tower and it went dead...curious.

I found the new 4 pack of batteries I had bought earlier in the day and we each swapped out ours. All 4 new batteries were dead...curiouser still.

I knew I had at least one more pack of batteries in my messenger bag...but couldn't find them...took everything out...no batteries.

So we leave the church, tell the driver we need to go find some new batteries...and there they are...right in the front pocket of the bag I just tore apart inside the church...creepy.

Here's the kicker...when we turned both cameras back on...the old batteries worked just fine...true story (all except for the part about "Rick" not being able to read...he reads extremely well at a 3rd grade level and is quite proud of his coloring too.)

That's about it for now...I will leave you with two things....

This sign was laying on the ground at the foot of a brick wall, positioned where you had to get up close to see it....you don't come across many signs that are less helpful than this one .

Here is a local T.V. Commercial about some medicine for your cock.

What did you think I was talking about?

Later.

Further adventures in Filipino living...

This post will be much less organized than the previous one...there are many reasons for this, but the top two are.

1. I've been awake for over 36 hours.


2. When I got home from work this morning I decided to sample some of the fine Tanduay Rhum they make here in the Philippines.

Eating:

Since I've been here I've had everything ranging from local Filipino (or Pinoy as they call it) dishes like Adobo (rice with sort of a vinegar-y pork and beef)

...and pansit (glassy rice noodles stir fried with whatever veggies, meat, fish or unlucky tourist they can find)

to Spanish tapas to sushi to Chinese hand-pulled noodles (Note to Steve Hare...this is not what you think it means) to McDonald's (or as they call it McDo's...a note about the rampant popularity of abbreviations in a later post)

Some observations...

Most things taste pretty much the same...which is to say that there seems to be a spice that I have yet to identify (perhaps it's the taste of the aforementioned unlucky tourist) that gets added to everything...the result is that the pizza and hamburgers taste very like the adobo and the pansit....not bad...just not what you'd expect. Here's a picture that supports my theory.

By they way..There isn't an uncooked vegetable to be found in the city. I'm starting to fear contracting whatever would be the veggie equivalent of scurvy.

I don't know what this is but I fear it....

Not everything is unfamiliar....this picture is for Kathy...

Fast food nation...

Fast food abounds...in addition to McDo's there are numerous chains you never heard of which cater to the masses. Goldilocks, Yellowcab, Oodles...there's actually a place called the House that Fried Chicken Built. ..but by far the king is Jollibee. They are everywhere.
Jollibee or J.Lo bee...you be the judge.

Here are some things that are put out for breakfast every morning where I'm staying...I will award bonus points for anyone who can identify all of them.






These are the components of the outstanding breakfast sandwich I make about every other day. I will hereafter publish the recipe and because I like you, you may feel free to duplicate the sandwich at your leisure without fear of legal reprisal.

• Two pieces of white bread (lightly toasted)


• 4 pieces of smoked or cured salmon (lox style is best)


• Cream cheese


• 1 poached egg.


• Capers as large as your head (these capers are so big they could be called "heists"...that was exclusively for Kevin)

Assemble all ingredients and eat.

Fresh orange juice and fresh pineapple make fine accompanying side dishes.

I think I will go have one now...more later.

Next post...drinking and driving (separate topics I promise)

Hello all,

I've put this blog together for a couple of reasons. They are as follows.

First, I wanted people to have a place where they can go and not be judged...except by me...and usually harshly.

Secondly, I heard that carbon dioxide was ruining the blogosphere and I wanted to do my part to freshen it up.

Where I am:

...So right now I'm in Makati, which is a section of Manila, The Philippines...which is in a part of the world that you are not.

I'm staying and working here through the middle of March and so far having as good a time as you can working 12-16 hours a day mostly overnight.

One thing you might not know is that the insects here are enormous...here's a picture of one attacking a building.

Manila is a very developed place, it seems to be made up of enormous shopping malls connected to one another by even larger shopping malls, all of them full. Almost all of the people here work in some form of service or hospitality industry... so as near as I can tell, this means that at any given moment, one half of the people are working in the mall while the other half shop there...twice a day a bell rings and they switch places.

Some things about the locals:

People here speak a mixture of English and Tagalog in a rapid fire way that makes you feel like you are in the middle of an auction. Here's a clip from a game show that seems to be on most of the time...or maybe it's several game shows that are exactly alike shown back to back...hard to tell. The goal here appears to be to pick the right sphere and win a prepaid phone card...which causes folks to go apeshit.

Just about everyone I've met here is extremely polite and virtually everyone you see on the street greets you and rushes around to help you to the point of making a fuss. In fact, coming here from a western culture is probably very like what people must have experienced in the British colonial era. You ask for something...sugar for your coffee, some extra ice, an omelet made out of Faberge' eggs...anything...and they run off after it at a dead sprint....if you tip them anything at all they name a child after you...there seems to be a person at work who's whole job is to make sure I have a full plate of cookies at all times...it's not at all compatible with the white, American guilt impulse...but it will be an adjustment coming back to the callous and impersonal U.S.

Things to come:

In upcoming posts I plan to talk about what it's like to commute, shop, play eat & drink here...but here's a couple pictures to wet your appetite....later. Brian